– feeds your head

The punishment for porridge

I am having one of those days where it feels like someone has replaced my brain with porridge. I have spent the better part of the day trying to write something that makes sense. So far it’s not working. I have been working on a million different things and I have made progress on none. My productivity has been zero. I have accomplished nothing. My focus is beyond bad. If I didn’t know better I would say I am hung over. It feels like it. But without the comfortable numbness. That sense of “I don’t care”. I don’t have that. Not at all.

Maybe it’s because it’s Sunday. As long as I can remember I have hated Sundays. And I am sure there are tons of explanations for that, but essentially it has to do with the vibe. I just don’t like the vibe of Sundays. The same way I don’t like the vibe of Christmas. But Christmas is just once a year, Sundays are once a week. So needless to say I have issues with that frequency. I suppose I should try to explain the vibe now. But to do that I would have to be able to make sense and I can’t. That’s the whole point of this: I just can’t sort my head out today. It’s like there’s something in the way. Porridge.

And no, I’m not hung over. I don’t drink. I was hanging out with drunk people last night though. Maybe that’s it? Maybe you can get second-hand hung over? Just like you can get second-hand stoned when someone is smoking weed next to you*. Alcohol vapors.

Yeah, rational thought is far away. Just like initiative, action and sorting shit out. Procrastination on a monumental scale. Today I have accomplished nothing. Not one single thing. I got out of bed and that’s pretty much it. And the only thing I can think of to blame is the fact that it’s Sunday. I have a ton of texts that I am working on, stuff that I’ll post here, stuff I’m going to perform and so on, but today all I am capable of is this nonsense. A meta text about not being able to write. Very intellectual huh? Yeah, sure. Actually, the whole point of this text is to kick myself in the ass, to just do something besides watch stupid videos on YouTube.

I’ll get back to you on that Sunday vibe and a lot of other stuff too, but for now all I have to offer is this punishment to myself. Sorry, I’ll do better next time.

*if you are lucky.

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