– feeds your head

The most precious moments.

One of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me was taking me out to jump in rain puddles. I have never been as close to giving up as I was at that point in my life and that particular day was one of the really bad ones. It was in summer and there had just been a thunderstorm. We were sitting on the couch in my small one bedroom apartment and I was having repeated attacks of panic anxiety followed by endless crying. And he said: “Come on, we’re going to go jump in the rain puddles.” At first I thought “no way, there’s just no way I can do that”, but for some reason I still let him take me outside.

He led my by the hand in that tender way you do with someone you know you need to take care of, someone small and fragile. And I don’t know if it was that or the fact that I hadn’t really jumped in any rain puddles in years, but I felt just like a little child again. Like that little child I once was. The good parts of being that little child. And I started laughing. We both did. Just like two five-year olds. It was in the evening and the sun was just setting, but it was still warm. We got soaking wet and people were staring but it didn’t matter, we just kept laughing and jumping. 

I will never forget that moment. I will never forget how good that made me feel. It was the exact right thing at that exact moment. And to this day I am amazed he knew that. How did he know that? How did he dare take that chance? Considering the state I was in back then that’s not a completely irrelevant question. But I will be forever thankful that he did. Because that moment is one of my most precious memories, I hold to it with a sense of awe, filled with real gratitude I got to experience that. Not only the relief given by the act itself, but also that profound feeling of someone caring about you on a level where they just let you fall into their arms and carry you for a moment. Just for that one moment when you so desperately need it to get your balance back.

It’s moments like this that makes it all possible. Life. That’s what it’s all about. The moments that turn into your most precious memories.

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