jc.tryps

i know it’s stupid. if the pros and the cons are lined up the con list will be a mile long. so how come i only see the pros? how come i am so curious about something that i know is so incredibly stupid? because that is what it is all about. playing with fire. only when you run close enough to the flames to get burned is it interesting. yes, i know it is stupid, but will that stop me? i wish i could say yes, but i know myself. it will not stop me. it will not even slow me down. because i know all the cons, they are all very predictable and reasonable. they make perfect sense. but the pros are all unknowns. potentials. unwritten stories. and that’s why i will not be able to resist. because i don’t know it yet. i want to feel the warmth of the flames even though i know their danger. i want to try. just to know how it feels. just to know.

yes, i know it is stupid, but i don’t know how it feels. yet.