November 9, 2008
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i have a thing for voices. i have had it as long as i can remember. i remember how i used to love to my grandmother when she was telling us stories. sure, it was about the stories, but it was just as much about her voice. the way the sound of her voice could just send me off into another world. i just loved to listen to her voice. loved they way that voice made me feel, the places it took me to.
and as i grew older i found more voices like that. many of them in music. like blixa bargeld, pj harvey, david bowie, björk. or jeff buckley. one of the absolute giants. all the nuances, the desperation, the passion. the amount of expression. all the emotion conveyed. it blows me away. the places he must have gone to to get that sound, find that flow. the waves he must have ridden. what he did was simply magical. what he still does. i just wish i could have experienced it once face to face. to actually have been in the same room when he was riding those waves. but when he died i didn’t even know he existed. when i found his magic he had been dead for almost exactly ten years and i was as old as he was when he died. i know that doesn’t mean anything, all i am saying is i was too late and that makes me feel like i have missed out on something that would have been an extraordinary experience. because i know what it is like listening to someone ride those waves and it is an energy so strong that you can almost touch it. being in the room when something like that happens is like tripping. what was entertainment, a distraction, turns into a spiritual thing. it grabs you and holds you. and when i listen to jeff buckley i realise that experiencing his ride would have been a truly extraordinary trip.
my grandmother is also dead and i will never hear her voice again. but she was the one that took me there the first time, out into the other worlds. with her voice and here stories she gave me the push to go looking. to explore the world and all the dimensions of reality. to look for stories and voices. and i have never stopped.